Not My Mother
by unlimitedlywicked
Summary: After Mimi gets pregnant Maureen wants a child and convinces Joanne to adopt. But do they REALLY know what they're getting themselve into?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: I own nothing. Follow along. The gang is around 30 and Angel is alive. **_

* * *

Maureen woke up in the middle of the night and went out to the balcony, for a smoke, and a moment to think.

"She's going to be a mother." She chuckled at the idea, Roger and Mimi were good people and would make good parents, she was sure of that; but Alphabet city was not exactly the best place to raise a child. "Their screwed." she said trying to picture Roger raising a child.

"Honeybear?" she turned around to see Joanne

"Hi pookie." She put on a smile "what are you doing up?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. You seemed a little distant at the party. Everything alright?"

"I was just thinking about what Angel said." She said dropping her cigarette and putting out the flame

"Angel said a lot of things. And half the time she was drunk." Joanne pointed out

"About Roger and Mimi being the only people who can have a child."

"Honey, if you want a child we could adopt one."

"A child of my _own_." She said

"What's the matter with adoption?"

"Nothing. It's just every child who is adopted lives their lives with secrets." She said leaning on the railing "Like who their parents are; and why I wasn't good enough for them?"

"Oh Maureen." Joanne wrapped her arms around her waist "How come you never told me?"

"It doesn't matter. I want a baby. And because of who I am, I can't have one." Joanne opened her mouth to protest "with the person I love."

"Do you really want a child?" Maureen nodded "Listen to me." Joanne said "If you really want one, we can go through some local agencies, and maybe we could find a child for us. Just the two of us. And it'll be ours."

"But it won't be ours."

"Yes it will. It will be ours, because we will raise the baby ourselves."

"Okay. But I don't think we can handle _two_ babies. Shouldn't we pick a kid a little older?" she proposed

"Like eight?"

"Like thirteen."

"You want a _teenager_?"

"I think it'd be fun."

"We'll look at it in the morning. But for now." She yawned "let's get some sleep."

"I'll be in, in a sec." said Maureen and Joanne left. She looked out into the city _I'm going to be a mother. And Mimi is having a baby. What have we gotten ourselves into now? _


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to anyone who reviewed. I already have the whole thing written out it's just a matter of typing it up. Filler chapter, but has important facts in it. In my opinion this story is slow, but once it gets started, it gets started. So please bear with me and my slow writing skills.

* * *

The couple was in their flat going over papers for adoption. Joanne was at the table coffee mug in her hand and Maureen was microwaving her breakfast. Joanne would pick a file read over it and deciding on whether or not SHE liked them, would ask Maureen her opinion.

"So do we want an international adoption?" Joanne asked Maureen. For the past few days Joanne had been contacting Adoption agencies and collecting files on each child, within an hour distance of course.

"A what?" asked Maureen as she sat down with a bowl of noodles

"Do we want the child to be from another country?" Joanne said holding up a pamphlet with a little Chinese baby on the front.

Maureen thought about it for a minute.

"Nah. People are always going to China to get children. They hand them out like free candy."

"Racist." Joanne mumbled under her breath

"Am not." She countered "I just think that our group is already culturally diverse enough. "Besides no one ever pays attention to the abandoned children in our own country." She said slurping a noodle "Oh, oh." She said picking up a paper "Who's this?"

"No one." Joanne said reaching over the table for the paper

"Hiding a child from me? Tsk tsk Pookie. The kid looks fine." She said glancing over the paper

"I don't know. Read her file." She said picking a file of another more promising child.

"Elsie Crowe." Maureen paused and reread it to make sure she hadn't misread it "Weird name."

"Keep reading."

"Born July 13, 1988, so she's about 13ish. 5'3. Ash blonde hair. Blue eyes. Given up for adoption at three months without reason, no allergies, white, and" she couldn't read the next part

"Yeah. I thought it might make it hard on her."

"Five. I was never bounced but I knew kids who were." She paused "Let's adopt her."

"What? You haven't even heard about _half_ of these other kids." Joanne said motioning to the stack on the table.

"But kids who are bounced are misunderstood. What better place to be understood than here?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I don't know anyone who would have a problem with her. Maybe Roger, but he's always that way." Maureen said

"What about our money situation?"

"The theatre is putting on a production. Auditions are today and I can take up extra hours backstage for spare change."

"I'm making a decent pay; I may have a promotion." Joanne took the file back "Are you sure you want to adopt _her_?"

"Yeah. The other kids in the homes are all pretty young. No one ever adopts the older kids."

"Okay then." Joanne said "I guess it isn't too bad, she looks nice enough."

"So when can we see her?"

"We can't just jump in; we need to be prepared."

"We have a room. The kid has clothes. What more do we need?"

"I just don't want to jump into this when we don't know that much."

"I was in an agency until I was four. You go in talk to the kid, get to know them; and depending on the kid and the agency you take them right there or wait a few days, then come back."

"Seriously?" Joanne sounded shocked at how easy it seemed

"Yeah. There are some people who foster before they adopt, just because they aren't sure they want a child or not."

"Do you think we should?" said Joanne looking over the papers "You know, foster the child first."

"Yes, I do." Joanne raised an eyebrow at her "Well suppose the kid doesn't like us."

"She will like us. She'll love you. It's hard not to."

"It's hard not to love _you_. _You're_ perfect." It was meant to be a compliment but came out more as a bitter remark "Sorry." She said seeing the look on Joanne's face "Just the thought of getting a kid is a bit, oiverwhelming."

"I never thought _you_ would find anything overwhelming."

"I don't know. I guess I'm just excited."

"Fine I'll make a date with the agency." She said pulling out her phone. "You're positive? You don't even want to _look_ at the other kids?"

"I think I found the one." She looked at the picture of the child and fingered it

"Okay then." And Joanne dialed the number "Yes hello? Is this the Adoption Resource Center? Yes I'd like to make an appointment. An interview with a child. Okay." Maureen watched intently "Jefferson. Joanne. J-O-A-N-N-E. Sounds great."

"So?" Asked Maureen leaning over the table her eyes sparkling

"We go to meet." She picked up the file "Elsie, next week at three."

"Great." She said with a smile "So where is the place?"

"Newark, New Jersey. It's a thirty minute drive from here."

"Newark? That's where we all grew up: Me, Roger, Mark, and Collins." Maureen bounced up out of her chair "It's gonna be like going home."

"I thought Mark said you lived in Hicksville."

"I did. Until I was eight, and my parents moved; they thought I was getting too rowdy. Figured Newark would calm me down, make me less" she searched for the right word "me."

"And we can all see how that ended up." Joanne said to herself "Well. I have to go to work." She said putting on her overcoat. "Don't you have an audition?" She asked Maureen who was fingering through the fridge

"Oh yeah. I'll see you tonight. I'll be back at seven." She gave her a quick kiss

"Seven? I thought rehearsal ends at four."

"Not when it's audition night. Love you." She said as Joanne went out the door.

* * *

Five Days Later

"I'm home." The diva announce

"Kitchen."

"What are you doing?"

"Crunching numbers;" Joanne let out a sigh "if we have another person living with us we're going to be living pretty close to the wire."

"Nothing new." Maureen said sitting down in Joanne's lap

"For us, but the kid has been in the care of the agency for a year."

"Good point." Maureen looked around the room "They posted parts today."

"And?" Joanne looked up at Maureen

"I got a major. I got one of the leads."

"Maureen are you serious? That's wonderful." She kissed her diva

"So you can take my old salary and make it _two times bigger_." She waggled two fingers in front of Joanne's face like a child

"_Two_?"

"I know. Three times more, but I need to spend two more hours." Joanne opened her mouth to protest "Practices are at night remember? They're 4-10 well for me anyways. But look at us, everything is working out _perfectly_."

Joanne smiled at her girlfriend, she hadn't seen her so happy in a long time. "Perfect."

"I know. We're getting our dreams Pookie." Her face close to Joanne's "Once upon a time. Happily ever after. All of our dreams will come true." And kissed her. Forgetting that everything came at a cost.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you to those who have reviewed/alerted/favorited. Sorry about this chapter short, but I wanted it to stand by itself

* * *

"Pookie. Wake up." Maureen was gently shaking her partner. It had been one week since they contacted the adoption agency. Today was the day. "Pookie wake up." She whined

"Sleep." Came Joanne's muffled voice

"I can't. We're going to meet our daughter today. How can I sleep?"

"We don't even know if we'll keep her."

"You make her sound like a pet. But she's not, she's a person." And she fell back onto bed in a huff.

"I know you're sensitive about this, but we want to make good first impressions." She draped her arms over Maureen's waist "Let's get some rest."

Maureen turned in her arms to face her partner "Fine. But we _are_ going to adopt her."

"Are you sure?"

Maureen kissed her "Just as sure as I am about that."

"Good. Now go to bed." She said nuzzling Maureen's neck

"But Pookie." Maureen whined

"What?"

"What if she doesn't like us?"

"Just go to bed. Everything will be fine." She kissed her forehead "I promise."

Maureen mumbled something incoherently

"What? Did you say something?"

"No. Nothing at all." she said in a small voice and turned away from Joanne. That night Joanne would dream of the child they were going to adopt, and Maureen would dream of the child she lost.

* * *

_The grass was cool beneath their bodies. She rested her head on his chest lulled to an almost dream-stage by his gentle breathing. "The condom broke." She said in almost a whisper _

"_It did?" he asked looking down at her _

"_What's going to happen?" she looked up at him with big worried eyes_

"_Nothing will happen." He wrapped an arm around her for warmth, for comfort. "Everything will be fine. I promise."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yes." He kissed her on the forehead "Really." And they both drifted off to a dreamless sleep. _

* * *

"What time is it?" Asked Maureen. Joanne and her were stuck in traffic on their way to the agency in Newark.

"2:40. we'll be fine."

"Stupid traffic." Maureen pouted crossing her arms over her chest "Can't it go any faster?"

"Don't worry. I know another way if traffic gets too bad. Look at her profile and tell me; how old is she in her picture."

"I don't know; maybe ten? Or a little older. Why?"

"I want to get an idea about what she looks like."

"I don't think too much can change in three years." Joanne faced her with an all-knowing look "Okay maybe they can."

"The rest of her file should tell about her personality. Can to read it for me?"

"Elsie is known for her spunk, being rebellious, emotionally detached with some kids. She is musically talented and known to spend most of her time with her guitar. She has a strong opinion and is known for her sarcastic personality. Not exactly the social butterfly, she has little friends, and just wants to be understood and loved."

She turned the page "Elsie was adopted first at the age of 13 months by the Crowe Family. She lived there until she was ten when a horrible tragedy took place and came back. From there she has been fostered by five families and had several dozen interviews." Maureen took in a deep breath "Imagine it Joanne, knowing that no one wants you, and the people that _did _want you are dead, or gone."

"But _we_ want her. Don't we?"

"Of course we do." She said not looking up from the papers "None of this changes the way I feel." She said pointing to the file.

"Well I'm glad you don't let her flaws stand in our way." Joanne said. But for some reason, Joanne felt like Maureen was hiding something from her. She just couldn't place her finger on it.

The rest of the ride was in silence while Joanne stared at her directions to the agency scrawled on a scrap piece of paper, and Maureen stared at the picture of their new daughter; her new daughter. Maybe there was a God.

* * *

They entered the agency, more of a home to be honest. The walls were painted a faded pale blue, and Maureen had already found something she disliked.

"I hate this color, it hurts my eyes." Complained Maureen in a hushed whisper

"Don't worry; they can't have the _whole_ place painted this color." Joanne whispered back and walked up to the receptionist "Hi. We have an appointment."

"Name?"

" Jefferson."

"And Maureen Johnson." Maureen piped up from behind

"Okay; Sue will be out with you in a moment. You may sit over there." The lady said pointing to a pair of dark blue seats.

The two sat down beneath a cross with a model of Jesus Christ's body. "Why do I feel like a dead person is watching me?" Maureen said jokingly

"I had no idea this place was Christian." Said Joanne suddenly nervous

"Christian or not, it's legal. So technically they have to." Reasoned Maureen

"Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson?" asked a woman walking into the room, face buried in her papers

"Mrs. Jefferson and Mrs. Johnson actually." Joanne said

"Oh." The woman looked up from her papers "I'm sorry for the mistake."

"It's not a problem. We're here for an interview with a child."

"Well okay then; but we can't just have you pick them up willy-nilly you know." She said smiling "Let me show you to the main room. Most of the children spend their days here or outside." they followed her down the hall.

"So who is it you were scheduled to meet? I mean we can't just hand the children out like free candy."

"Her name is Elsie Crowe" said Maureen

Sue tuned to face them. "You know what? Maybe we can." She thought a moment "I'll show you where she is." And though her words were meant to be funny Maureen was shocked at the behavior towards the child.

"Isn't she with the other children?" asked Joanne

"Elsie? I'd be damned." And they followed her down another hideously powder blue hall


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I own nothing. Bad author not updating sooner, but I had a busy week so I typed this up just never posterd it. but here it is. I finally got a chance to introduce the other characters instead of Joanne and Maureen.

* * *

"Elsie? There are some people who would like to talk to you." Sue said opening the door to a room full of identical beds and small dressers. And in the corner farthest from the door was a fourteen year old girl strumming a guitar on her bed. The walls were painted the same hideous powder blue color that Maureen detested so much.

"I'm going to be blind from all of this blue." Maureen whispered to Joanne

"She doesn't talk much. She just sits here and plays with that silly guitar." Maureen, Joanne, and Sue were all standing across from Elsie next to a glass door.

Elsie's face (from the women's position) was hidden behind a curtain hair. Black streaked through her shoulder length blonde hair covering up her pale blue eyes and nose piercing on her pale skin.

"Ellie?"

"Let me finish my song." She said strumming her guitar "And don't call me Ellie."

"She's a bit anti-social as you can tell. She doesn't get along with the other children." Sue said in a hushed tone

"Why not?" asked Joanne

"She gets into 'disagreements' with the other kids." Sue replied

"I can hear you." Elsie snapped, walking over to the window door "It's not _my _fault everyone in this place is a freakin' bigot." She exclaimed

"Hey. Watch your language." Scolded Sue "Elsie, these ladies would like to talk to you about adoption."

"Ladies? You guys are lesbians?" asked Elsie turning to face them for the first time revealing her face to the sunlight streaming through the glass door.

"Yeah. You're not gonna freak out on us are you?" Maureen asked smiling. Knowing or at least having a good idea that

"Me? No. The rest of these bigots might crucify you though." She said pretending to choke herself

"Elsie, are you going to cooperate or not?" asked Sue in a stern matter

"I never said I wasn't." She sat back down on her bed "So where are you guys" referring to Sue "shipping me off to now?"

"New York, New York. And you may actually stay there for more than a week; if you behave yourself."

"Like that'll ever happen." Elsie mumbled under her breath

"We still have to-"

"Go through basic procedure. I know. You can leave now." She said waving her hand towards Sue who left the room. "You can sit on my bed; you two must be tired of standing." Elsie said walking up to the glass door.

"Thank you." Joanne said a bit shocked at her sudden change in attitude.

"I may not be the nicest person on earth; but don't say I was never taught manners." She said looking out the door "What are your names again?"

"This is Joanne my girlfriend, and I'm Maureen."

"You guys live in New York City?" Elsie questioned

"Yeah. Alphabet City to be exact."

"Is it nice there?" she asked distantly watching a fly scatter across the glass door

"It's nicer than it used to be. But still Bohemia."

"Sounds nice." She said facing them and letting a strand of hair fall in her face

"So Elsie, you play guitar?" asked Maureen fingering the instrument lying on the bed

"Sort of." She shrugged

"Did someone teach you?" Joanne inquired

"I sort of taught myself." And by that she meant, her old father had taught her before he had died. Pushing her old memories from her mind Elsie dragged herself back to the present. "So what exactly made you two want to adopt?"

"Our friend got pregnant with her husband. I guess it just hit me; how much I want a family I mean." Maureen said

"We're all sort of like an extended family: Us, Roger, Mimi, Angel, Collins, and Mark." Joanne elaborated

"Do they all live with you?"

"No, they share a loft on Avenue A. We have an apartment on Avenue B, not too far from it. We all live in the East Village."

"Alphabet City." Elsie let a small smile grace her lips and an awkward silence filled the room. "So, why?"

"Why what?" asked Joanne

"Me. Why did you choose me? As you can see; my record isn't exactly the best."

"That's the reason though." Explained Joanne "We thought a misunderstood-"

"Doesn't anyone get it? I am NOT misunderstood this is exactly who I am. Today's society will mold you into a copy of the 'perfect' child. That's why I have these streaks" she said running a hand through her hair "and these piercings." She sighed "But I'm really a good person, honestly I am." She said in a quieter voice

"Elsie? We're lesbians. Collins is gay, Angel is a cross dresser, Mimi's an exotic dancer at a strip club; and half of us are infected with AIDS. We're understanding." Joanne said

"I'm not looking for understanding though. I just want to be accepted. For who I am. Not what the rest of the world wants me to be."

"We understand" said Joanne "But we can only do as much as anyone else."

"Trust me. You've already done more." She said, a half-smile on her face

"Well we'll go talk to Sue and come back in a minute." Joanne said walking out of the room, Maureen following close behind.

"I like her. I like her ALOT." Maureen whispered into Joanne's ear

"I know. So do I." and the door shut behind them leaving Elsie alone once again.

Elsie looked at the room around her the half smile on her face. "I hate this color." She said and flopped onto her bed covering her eyes with her palm.

* * *

The couple walked out of the room and back into the main hall. "So how did you like our own residential 'Miss Sunshine'?"

"Actually we quite liked her." Joanne said

"When and where do we sign?" Maureen piped up

"Well naturally we have you wait a week. So we can prepare the child and let the parents think the decision over; in case of second-thoughts. But Elsie has been through this for her whole life;" Sue paused "We'll send the paperwork home with you and she can come home with you within the week."

"May we go say goodbye?" Maureen asked eagerly

Sue paused as if to ask why anyone would WANT to say goodbye but bit it back and said "Of course."

* * *

They opened the door to the room. "They're giving you a week and promised to ship me off within said week." Elsie said without looking at them.

"Actually yes."

"So you're going to leave. Pick me up again. Then-"

"You live with us." Maureen finished reaching to lay her hand on Elsie's shoulder, but she pulled away at the contact.

"I'll see you guys next time then. Just one question before you go."

"Anything." Joanne said

"What is it that you exactly do? You know for a living."

"Well, Miss Ivy League is a Lawyer, and I'm a performance artist."

"So she's the brains and you're the party." Elsie said pointing to Joanne then Maureen

"I liked her. She knows how to call them." Joanne said smiling "We'll see you tomorrow. Bye Elsie."

"Later Else." Maureen said waving and the couple left her alone with her guitar.

"Else." The name rolled of her tongue smoothly "I like it." And for the second time that month she gave another half-smile.

* * *

"Hey who started the party without me?" said Maureen as she entered the noise filled loft

"We was goings to call you." Said Collins holding up his phone in the hand not holding a bottle of whisky

"Well what's the celebration for?" said Maureen tossing her jacket aside.

"I got a gig." Said Roger, Mimi hanging off his shoulder

"No way!" Maureen squealed "Where?"

"The Life Café, during Thanksgiving weekend." Said a three month pregnant Mimi

"No way! Roger that's the busiest time for Life. Congratulations."

"So where were you? We went by your apartment but no one was there." Said Mark looking up from his camera

"Oh yeah. So Jo and I were talking a few nights ago and-"

"There you are." Said Joanne bursting into the loft a bit out of breath from running after Maureen "Honey? Would you like to join me in the stairwell?"

"Not really I was going to tell everyone the good news."

"News? What news sugar?" asked Angel

Joanne gave Maureen a look saying _how am I supposed to do this?_

"Mark turn off the camera." He kept on filming "Now." She said putting her palm in front of the lenses

"Fine." He let it fall to his side while secretly filming.

"Um guys. How am I supposed to tell them this?" Joanne asked Maureen

"Like this. We're gonna have a kid." She exclaimed

"Wait you're pregnant?" asked Roger his face twisted into an unreadable emotion of shock, confusion and slight disgust

"No silly. You know we can't get pregnant. Together."

"Wait so Maureen-" Mimi began

"We're adopting." Joanne cut in

"A babay?" asked Collins piping up

"Not a baby; I don't think any of us could handle two babies. The kid's a little older."

"Like eight?" proposed Mark

"Try a teenager." Said Maureen

"And a slightly angstful one." Said Joanne

"But she just wants to be accepted. And we figured what better place than here?"

"Good point." Said Angel "So when is the little devil coming?"

"Tomorrow. Her name

But no one heard a word after that because they were all too busy celebrating. The coming of a baby, a break for Roger, and a beginning of a family for their favorite lesbian couple.


End file.
